mercoledì 20 aprile 2016

il kit (semiserio) per neo mamme



Giunta al definitivo numero di due figli, posso affermare di aver capito alcuni fondamentali della vita da madre. 

Ovviamente non mi riferisco alle teorie e alle convinzioni, abbandonate dopo 5 minuti dalla nascita del biondino, ma a ciò che davvero servirebbe ricevere come kit di benvenuto quando si fa l'ingresso nell'esausto club del genitore.


Ecco perché ho concentrato parte di queste perle di saggezza nel pacchettino regalo che porterò oggi alla mia amica V., neo-mamma di una bimba dai capelli nerissimi e dalle guanciotte tonde.

Essendo una delle persone più coraggiose che conosca, V. saprà gestire la dura verità!

Ecco cosa comprende il (semiserio) kit per neo-mamme.


Cara V., sono consapevole della poco attraente aura da "casa di riposo" del prodottino, ma è uno di quei segreti da usare e non divulgare, un messaggio che esploderà entro trenta secondi, un'informazione pari all'ubicazione dell'area 51.
(Come la storia della PreparazioneH che elimina le occhiaie, ssshhhh, io non ho detto niente).

Insomma, come avrai capito "senz'acqua" è la parte essenziale della faccenda. Non temere, non sarà così, tu puoi essere la proverbiale eccezione, sono convinta che quella cucciolotta...

Non ce la faccio, mi viene da ridere. 







Tanto e buono. 
Se serve a Harry Potter per rincuorarsi dopo aver affrontato i Dissennatori, le creature malvagie "che si cibano della felicità altrui svuotando le persone intorno a loro di ogni pensiero gioioso fino a farle impazzire dalla disperazione", vivaddio aiuterà a ripigliarsi nei momenti di sconforto genitoriale!

Sai cosa altro aiuta ad affrontare i momenti di sconforto? Una professionista che sappia ascoltare e dare utili risposte, sempre a portata di telefono nei primi giorni da neo-genitori, quando hai ormoni, dubbi e stanchezza che fanno insieme il ballo del qua-qua in cucina, incasinandoti non poco. 

Sono assai seria quando dico che uno dei regali più belli che si possa fare a una neo-mamma sia 




(Lo so, V., sto pistolotto l'ho già proposto mesi fa, andiamo oltre.)





ma quali? Quelle che funzionano. 
Quelle che hanno funzionato sulla propria pelle, che hanno risolto la vita, fermato il male, salvato l'allattamento, curato rossori, quelle che tagli il tubetto per usarle fino all'ultima goccia. 
Nel mio caso Olio Vea o Lanolina.





Hai presente quando ti regalano un buono per prenderti tempo per te stessa? 
O, addirittura, un pacchetto da dieci bigliettini? 
Ecco, una cosa che ho imparato è che quei momenti devono essere molti, molti di più. 
Ne hai bisogno, te li meriti, devi chiederli, devi pretenderli.

E devono essere numerosi almeno come un vasetto di coriandoli. 
Potevo inseguire la metafora coi granelli di sabbia, con un pugno di riso, con una manciata di cous-cous, ma così avrai qualcosa da lanciare in aria per festeggiare la prima notte di sonno ininterrotto!

Infine 

da tenere accanto al letto e da sbirciare quando si sta pensando di esiliarsi in un'isolotto dei caraibi. 

Contiene tutta la teoria che ho appreso in cinque anni, tutta la filosofia dell'essere genitori, tutto ciò che è sufficiente ricordarsi. 
per chi sente di averne bisogno, qui si trova il pdf da stampare

"Aiuto! Non sapevo fosse così essere genitori!! Siamo innamorati persi!"

Ecco, alla fine in questo tuo messaggio, V., è racchiuso il più grande 'benvenuto nel nostro club' che io possa immaginare! 

79 commenti:

  1. Non conosco le sensazioni e le frustrazioni delle neo mamme, ma il tuo kit è fantastico.. Sarà un regalo originale e sicuramente le strapperai un sorriso!!

    Buona giornata
    Sara
    This is Sara

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    Risposte
    1. Grazie Sara! Ma tu non sai la soddisfazione di essere seguita anche da ragazze senza bimbi!

      Elimina
  2. Olio vea forever and ever! Se ho allattato i miei figli è anche grazie a lui. (E comunque, mannaggia a 'ste fasi, che passano sì, eccome. E pure troppo veloci...)

    RispondiElimina
    Risposte
    1. no, ma infatti, parlaimone! Col primo magari sembrano eterne, col secondo è un soffio!!!

      Elimina
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